This is the first column in the #InclusieDoen series, where we focus less on discussing inclusion in organizations and more on showing concrete actions. In this column, we explore how asking a colleague for help benefits you, them, and the team. If you’re interested in implementing more inclusive practices, we’re here to support you.
As part of the #InclusieDoen initiative, we’ve developed a program to help you build daily inclusive habits. With short videos and WhatsApp reminders, you’ll receive tips and support to make inclusion a part of everyday life—completely free during the initial phase! You can read all the columns here.
The shift away from asking for help
In the past, asking for help—borrowing a cup of sugar, getting a ride to the station, or seeking advice from a colleague—was a natural part of daily life. Today, we often turn to impersonal options like delivery services, Uber, ChatGPT, or repair services instead of reaching out to a neighbor or coworker. Unfortunately, this shift means missing out on the personal connection that used to accompany these requests.
And that’s a shame, because helping others fulfills a fundamental human need. It brings joy and leads to better outcomes, both at home and work. Behavioral science research shows that people are more willing to help than we think. Why? Helping gives others a sense of purpose, creating a positive ripple effect of connection and kindness.
Why asking for help is beneficial
Colleagues who ask for help strengthen their bonds and build mutual trust. Small acts of kindness foster informal networks where people share knowledge and skills. Additionally, those who ask for help often learn faster by gaining insights and expertise they wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. This contributes to a culture where everyone works together to improve.
Overcoming the hesitation to ask
Why do we hesitate to ask for help? Many view it as risky, fearing they might seem incompetent or burdensome. However, studies show that people are far more willing to help than we assume.
Asking for help is good for both the seeker and the helper. By seeking advice, you signal respect for the other person’s expertise, strengthening your relationship and fostering a more connected and supportive work environment.
Fostering a culture of connection
In a time when technology promotes self-reliance, it’s important to remember the value of human connection. Colleagues feel appreciated when their expertise is sought and gain satisfaction from helping others. A simple question can spark a chain reaction of kindness, reinforcing a positive workplace culture.
Next time you’re stuck or need advice, remember: just ask for help. Collaboration isn’t just more productive—it makes everyone a little happier.
Below, you’ll find a detailed explanation of why asking for and offering help is a fundamental human need.
Below, you’ll find a detailed explanation of why asking for and offering help is a fundamental human need.
Below, you’ll find a detailed explanation of why asking for and offering help is a fundamental human need.
Asking for help is actually really good for you, according to science, Annika Horn, National Geographic, August 2024
How Humans Depend on Cooperation for Survival and Mental Health
Our innate ability to cooperate and socialize with others may date back over 3.5 million years to one of the earliest hominins, or human species, the australopithecines.
When australopithecines branched off from other primates and left the rainforests for drier, predator-rich environments, they needed large groups to survive, explains Peter Richerson, a biologist and emeritus professor at the University of California, Davis. They learned to collaborate with individuals outside their biological family to ensure survival. These social networks enabled strategies, the development of weapons, and the formation of large groups capable of fending off powerful predators, Richerson adds.
Becoming bipedal also made childbirth more difficult and dangerous for australopithecines. This likely encouraged mothers to help one another during labor, says Lesley Newson, evolutionary biologist and co-author of A Story of Us: A New Look at Human Evolution. Mothers “really benefited from cooperation, saying, ‘I’ll help deliver your baby if you help deliver mine,’ ” Newson explains.
Sarah Hrdy, evolutionary anthropologist and author of Father Time: A Natural History of Men and Babies, explains that cooperation advanced further in the context of child-rearing. Early humans relied on family members beyond the mother to help care for children—a concept known as “cooperative breeding,” which is not observed in other primates genetically related to us.
Group members participated in this caregiving “in exchange for acceptance within the group,” Hrdy notes. Babies, aware of their multiple caregivers, learned to observe, socialize, and ingratiate themselves with non-family members. This behavior, Hrdy says, “lays the groundwork for cooperation.”
Psychologists suggest that this evolutionary background explains why social rejection and isolation remain painful for humans today. The brain circuits that process emotional pain are built on the same circuits that handle physical pain. In one experiment involving a virtual ball-tossing game, participants who were suddenly excluded from receiving the ball reported experiencing physical pain.
From an evolutionary standpoint, “it makes sense that social exclusion would feel unpleasant, right?” says Gaurav Suri, experimental psychologist and computational neuroscientist at San Francisco State University. “The pain of social exclusion acts as a signal for us to fix the issues causing it.”